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booted out 8/1/2011
A husband and his wife had a very bad argument.He left and
went to the bar. when he home three sheets to the wind. He
saw that all his clothes and tools were lying in the front
yard. When seeing this through blurry eyes he stormed in
the house and confronted wife."Bitch I know your
leaving but you sure in hell are not taking my stuff with
you"
2 Comments, 371 Views,
12 Votes
,3.68 Score
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SEEKING FOR THE RIGHT PERSON TO RELOCATE AND START A NEW LIFE WITH 6/25/2011
am looking to meet someone who is honest, sweet, caring, attractive, someone
who is getting tired of the bar scene, someone who is looking
for something that can turn into a long term relationship
and possibly marriage.but 4months ago i met a guy on the
internet promising me that he loves me and his from Africa
and told me to come and visit him and i pay him a visit he take
me to a hotel and ...
0 Comments, 32 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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"Joys of Parenting " 6/22/2011
A Woman's Experience With
For those who already have past this age, this
is hilarious. For those who have this age, this
is not funny. For those who have nearing this age,
this is a warning. For those who have not yet had ,
this is birth control.
The following came from an anonymous mother.
Things I've learned from my (honest &
no kidding):
1. A king size ...
2 Comments, 275 Views,
12 Votes
,5.63 Score
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Vacation 6/22/2011
A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort. The husband
liked to fish at the crack of dawn; his wife preferred to
read. One morning the husband returned after several hours
of fishing and decided to take a nap.
The wife, to escape her snoring husband, decided to take
the boat out. Since she was not familiar with the lake, she
rowed out to the middle, anchored the boat, and started ...
1 Comments, 279 Views,
6 Votes
,5.36 Score
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secret to a long marriage 5/31/2011
There once was a little old man and woman who had been married
happily for 75 years. They never kept anything from each
other. But, the little old woman had a box in her closet which
she told her husband not to look at. He respected her wishes
and thought nothing of it.
One day the little old woman got very sick and her husband
was afraid she was going to pass on. So while she she was ...
4 Comments, 151 Views,
6 Votes
,4.79 Score
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Husband & wife ! 5/8/2011
A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really
need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near
perfect. ...
6 Comments, 244 Views,
23 Votes
,3.71 Score
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'reyan George" captured! 5/4/2011
recently i had the rare learning opportunity to deal with
a professional con artist on AdultFriendFinder.com.
I received a email from a lady naming herself reyan George
who only had one photo on her account. she quickly started
with a story about how she was looking for love and cherished
love etc. right away i knew something was up because it seemed
like it was a letter that was sent to ...
0 Comments, 150 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
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Have you ever farted during sex? 5/3/2011
My first one night stand EVER I accidently let one slip while
she was blowing me. We laughed it off and I felt quite embarassed
until 2 minutes later she let one go as I brought her legs
over her shoulders. Girls do fart!
1 Comments, 24 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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Grandma's pies ! 4/29/2011
Granny made such beautiful pies.
So one day I asked her, "How do you get such beautiful
pies with the crimps around the edges so even?"
She said, "It's a family secret. So promise not
to tell. I roll out the dough, and I cut out a bottom layer
and carefully put it in a pie plate. Then I slowly pour the
filling, making sure it's not too full. Next I cut a
top layer and put it ...
7 Comments, 176 Views,
12 Votes
,2.62 Score
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true love 4/28/2011
Three men were drinking at a bar -- a doctor, an attorney
and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he
said, "For her birthday, I'm going to buy my wife a fur coat and
a diamond ring. This way, if she doesn't like the fur coat she will still
love me because she got a diamond ring." As the attorney was drinking his martini he said, "For
my wife's birthday, I'm going ...
4 Comments, 86 Views,
8 Votes
,3.94 Score
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the horrible curse 4/28/2011
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last
40 years.
The Wizard says "maybe, but you will have to tell me
the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation "I now pronounce you man and wife".
3 Comments, 94 Views,
7 Votes
,4.57 Score
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Red Flags and warning signs.... 3/14/2011
Red flags and warning sign. Is this you because I look for
these. If your new in town and ask me where the Methadone Clinic
is.........Warning
If the police already know your description....... Warning
If you know the county jail system better than the sheriff.....warning
To date somebody. If you have to get cleared by CPS or a Judge.........Warning
I know we ...
1 Comments, 48 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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My Wife and I Were Happy For Twenty Years....... 3/7/2011
My wife and I were happy for twenty years...then we met.
. I just got back from a pleasure trip - I drove my wife to the
airport
. After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know,
I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes
dear, but I was in love and didn't notice
. One woman says to another, "Isn't your wedding
ring on the wrong finger?" The other woman ...
1 Comments, 286 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score
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Night of the black strap on ! 2/24/2011
I picked up this 6 ft tall knockout of a brunette back
in the late 70's in a disco one mild winter night. She
lived in a two story apartment townhouse with her bedroom
upstairs. Just as sweet as she could be seemed like. Was
always licking her lips like Cher.
After we had sex (and it was great too) she went into her bathroom
and came out wearing a big black strap on dick that looked ...
5 Comments, 280 Views,
15 Votes
,3.13 Score
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expectations 2/22/2011
I've been on this site now on and off for several years.
I've had a lot of fun and I've enjoy meeting some
really wonderful people. I also been witness to some of
the absolutely most unrealistic expectations and narcissus
behavior imaginable. This always makes me smile.
The idea that someone using this site is someway more moral
than someone else is the height of stupidity, not ...
1 Comments, 58 Views,
3 Votes
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adi_cool 2/11/2011
any girl have to give me kiss?
1 Comments, 20 Views,
0 Votes
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Internet connection ! 1/18/2011
There was this young man, on a cruise ship in the Caribbean.
It was wonderful, the experience of his life. But, it did
not last. A Hurricane came up unexpectedly. The ship went
down almost instantly.
The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island.
There was nothing else anywhere to be seen. No person, no
supplies, nothing. The man looked around. There were some
bananas and ...
5 Comments, 117 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
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adi_cool 1/16/2011
any girl suck me?
0 Comments, 7 Views,
0 Votes
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first time swallowing 1/14/2011
ill never forget the time i had this hot girl swallow for
me. the look on her face was priceless. so innocent but so
confused LOL.
0 Comments, 181 Views,
0 Votes
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Size Doesn't Matter 1/7/2011
A couple had been dating for about a month, but the guy was
afraid to make any sexual advances because of his tiny organ.
Finally one evening, he gets up his courage, and takes her
to lovers' lane. While they are making out, he opens
his zipper and places her hand on his penis.
"Stop! How dare you!" the girl says. "You
know I don't smoke."
1 Comments, 304 Views,
7 Votes
,3.80 Score
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Doctor ! Doctor ! 12/17/2010
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I am a set of curtains! Pull
yourself together, man!
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a bell. Well, just go home and if the feeling persists, give me a
ring.
Doctor, doctor, people tell me I'm a wheelbarrow.
Don't let people push you around.
Sigmund Freud by Deddi Shy Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking
I'm invisible. Who said that?! ...
1 Comments, 63 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
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one fall day 12/14/2010
One Fall day, Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed
a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse, was
a second hearse which was followed by a man walking solemnly
along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking
in single file. Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following
the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse.
"My wife, " the man replied. "I'm
sorry, " ...
1 Comments, 111 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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the wooden anniversary 12/13/2010
We've been married a little over four years, and we
just celebrated our "Wooden Anniversary."
Yeah, I asked my wife to blow me, and she woodnt !!!
1 Comments, 50 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
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birthday gifts 12/13/2010
A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband
thinks, "I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for
her birthday." Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this
time he doesn't get her anything. She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present!?"
He replies, "You didn't use what I got you last
year!"
1 Comments, 63 Views,
0 Votes
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fine wine 12/13/2010
"Look at me." an elderly Yuppie boasted to his
guests at his birthday bash. "I've aged like
a fine old carefully stored wine."
"I certainly have to agree with that." piped-up
his obviously long suffering wife. "Henry's
cork's been stationary for years."
1 Comments, 61 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
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guardian angels 12/13/2010
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop!
Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall
down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him.
The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was
going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still!
If you take one more step a car will run over you ...
1 Comments, 86 Views,
0 Votes
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lil ohnny in 1st grade 12/13/2010
A first-grade class is having a game of Name That Animal.
The teacher held up a picture of a cat. "What Animal is this?" she asked. "A cat!" said Eddie. "Good job! Now, what is this Animal?" "A dog!" said Eddie. "Good! Now what Animal is this?" she asked,
holding up a picture of a Deer. The class fell silent. After
a couple of minutes, the teacher said, "It's
what your mom calls your dad." "A ...
1 Comments, 115 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
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barely used 12/13/2010
A wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified
to find her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. Just
as the wife was about to storm out of the house, her husband
stopped her with these words:
Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about.
Driving along the highway, I saw this young woman looking
tired and bedraggled, so I brought her home and made ...
1 Comments, 119 Views,
8 Votes
,4.87 Score
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saving it up 12/13/2010
The 70-year old groom and the 25-year old bride attracted
raised eyebrow attention as they checked into the resort hotel. Next morning
at eight sharp, the groom came into the dining room whistling a gay
tune, sat down at a table and ordered ham and eggs. The smile on his face
and the twinkle in his eye told everybody present that he was happy and confident.
Fifteen minutes later the young bride ...
1 Comments, 90 Views,
6 Votes
,3.65 Score
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to whom it may concern.... 12/13/2010
The medics rush Mr. Steinberg to the hospital in the middle
of the night, apparently with a massive heart attack. The
doctors work on him all night and morning and finally discharge
him to ICU, where therapy continues.
In a couple of days Mr. Steinberg's physician comes
into his room and says, "Sol, I'm happy to tell you that
you are completely well. You have the heart function that you ...
1 Comments, 79 Views,
6 Votes
,3.37 Score
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