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Police quotes 12/19/2009 16. 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.' 15. 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.' 0 Comments, 98 Views, 0 Votes | |
CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE PSYCHOLOGICALLY CHALLENGED... 12/19/2009 * 1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear? * 2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are * 3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas * 0 Comments, 56 Views, 0 Votes | |
From Grace 10/15/2009 Something to think about..... There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfri 0 Comments, 67 Views, 0 Votes | |
THE JOURNEY OF A MAN 10/15/2009 When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. < 0 Comments, 117 Views, 0 Votes | |
HELL EXPLAINED 10/15/2009 Hell Explained..... BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a stude 0 Comments, 129 Views, 0 Votes | |
NEVER CHEAT ON A SOUTHERN WOMAN ! 10/12/2009 A Southern wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With super-human strength, borne of fury, and cutting firewood power, she dragged him by the willy down the stairs 0 Comments, 137 Views, 0 Votes | |
Passport 8/8/2009 Dear sirs, I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a cable t.v. from 0 Comments, 95 Views, 0 Votes | |
THE GOOD LIFE OF A COWBOY 8/8/2009 EBERT WALTERS JUNE 14, 2009 DURING HIS CHILDHOOD, EBERT "SONNY" WALTERS WAS COUNSELED BY HIS TOUGH OLD COWBOY GRANDFATHER THAT IF HE WANTED TO LIVE A LONG LIFE, THE SECRET WAS TO SPRINKLE A PINCH OF G 0 Comments, 62 Views, 0 Votes | |
Florida Supermarket 7/15/2009 A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manage 0 Comments, 102 Views, 0 Votes | |
Solve this Mystery!!!! 6/28/2009 A detective story........... So Pay Close Attention!!! .... Three ladies are excited about seeing their first baseball game. They smuggle a bottle of Jack Daniel's into the ball park 0 Comments, 92 Views, 0 Votes | |
Black Testicles 6/24/2009 A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure. A young student nurse appears to g 0 Comments, 103 Views, 0 Votes | |
Little Ralphy On Math 6/24/2009 A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?' She calls on little Ralphy. He replies, 'None, they will all fly 0 Comments, 75 Views, 0 Votes | |
Farm Girl Birth Control 5/11/2009 There were three gals who were getting married and all met at the marriage counselor's office to discuss the options of having or not having a baby right away. There were two city gals and one farm ga 0 Comments, 209 Views, 0 Votes | |
Drafting Guys over 60! 5/7/2009 New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60! I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've g 0 Comments, 87 Views, 0 Votes | |
Blonde cop position 4/28/2009 Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position on the WV Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, 'So y'all want to be cops, huh?' 0 Comments, 160 Views, 0 Votes | |
The Saring of Marriage 4/28/2009 The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink. He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife. He then 0 Comments, 96 Views, 0 Votes | |
Da End Be Near 4/28/2009 Reverend Boudreaux was the part-time pastor of the local Cajun Baptist Church and Pastor Thibodaux was the minister of the Covenant Church across the road. They were both standing by the roa 0 Comments, 74 Views, 0 Votes | |
Bible & a Haircut 4/28/2009 A young boy had just gotten his driver's permit and inquired of his father if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'd make a deal with his . "You bring 0 Comments, 83 Views, 0 Votes | |
Happy Mental Health Day! 4/21/2009 The love story of Ralph and Edna... Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in 0 Comments, 70 Views, 0 Votes | |
some women 4/21/2009 An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, ' 0 Comments, 120 Views, 0 Votes | |
Great one liners.... 4/6/2009 * I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. * FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! Except that one where you're naked in public. * Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough. < 0 Comments, 123 Views, 0 Votes | |
Old Biker 4/6/2009 An old biker, on a summer ride in the country, walks into a tavern and sees a sign hanging over the bar, which reads: CHEESEBURGER ![]() HAMBURGER ![]() CHICKEN SANDWICH ![]() 0 Comments, 165 Views, 0 Votes | |
The Night of April 1st 4/6/2009 Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age? Little Old Lady: I am 71 years old. Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 0 Comments, 146 Views, 0 Votes | |
Confucius Say:::::: 4/6/2009 Confucius Say... War not dertimined who right~ War dertimined who left. Confucius Say... If you want pretty nurse~ You got to be patient. Confucius Say... To meet girl in a park is g 0 Comments, 106 Views, 0 Votes | |
11 people hangin' 3/24/2009 11 PEOPLE ON A ROPE Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter. 10 men and 1 woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, because other 0 Comments, 117 Views, 0 Votes | |
Deaf Bookkeeper 3/24/2009 A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of ten million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assume 0 Comments, 104 Views, 0 Votes | |
HELL 3/24/2009 HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT: The following is an actual question given on University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared i 0 Comments, 97 Views, 0 Votes | |
Potentially and Realistically 3/23/2009 A young boy went up to his father and asked him, 'Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?' The father thought for a moment, then answered, 'Go ask your mother i 0 Comments, 76 Views, 0 Votes | |
the last nickel 3/23/2009 A father walks into a restaurant with his young . He gives the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father real 0 Comments, 82 Views, 0 Votes | |
2 Dwarfs 3/23/2009 Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two 'working girls' and take them to their separate hotel rooms. The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made w 0 Comments, 89 Views, 0 Votes |
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