Before I even start, a bit of advice. Don't use the "writing ideas" tool when building your profile. You'll just end up sounding like 50% of the other people out there, and it comes across as being lazy, and uncreative. Neither of those are attractive qualities. Oh, and proof read what you write, and use spell check. You're going to have 100's of people reading your profile, no rea to look like an idiot. Okay, that takes care of my "make the world a better place" goal for the day (and hopefully my negative vibe part of my profile). Regarding the photos where I attempt to smile, I do not possess the enviable skill of a convincing fake smile. When I try to smile for a picture, by myself, as the camera beeps the countdown, the intended smile comes across as part grimace of someone trying to pass gas, and part maniacal grin of a psychopath who has just left a very bloody mess in the next room. Maybe that's an unfair characterization of my fake smile, but you get the picture (pun intended). I can smile though, don't worry. So far my profile has covered how not to write a profile, and how I can't take a smiling picture of myself. I'll try to be more positive with the rest of this. And now a little bit about myself... My hobbies include watching The Muppets with the sound muted, so I can practice lip reading Kermit and Miss Piggy. The truth is I like to go to a local sports bar, and watch sports, (I'm a Dolphin Fan), and play trivia. I used to throw darts a lot, but it's rare now. I do like going to the Swampgames, or the occasional live band (vs. the dead ones). Have I mentioned any of my special powers yet? No? What if I told you I can cure blindness? Skeptical? Good. On a recent date, while laughing, she squeezed her eyes shut so tightly that it corrected the shape of her corneas, and now she no longer needs glasses, I think. I could be wrong on this, but she did at one point remove her glasses, so I'm pretty sure I corrected her vision. (How's that for positive thinking?) Okay enough about me, I believe the next section has what I'm searching for, and no it's not a crystal skull with magical powers, or at least it wasn't until I typed this, now I'm not so sure.

My Ideal Person I enjoy women who are reasonably intelligent, funny, and charismatic. Yes, I'm aware that all men are attracted to those qualities, and while I'm at it I should ask that she owns a bar, and has a cute twin that she likes to invite into the bedroom, right? I give more weight to a pretty face and a nice smile than I do a woman's figure/build. So what does this mean to you, the reader, who is slogging through this very wordy profile? Basically, this means that I don't care if your chest is big or small, or if you are 28 or 58. For example, you could be 48 years old, 5'5" 185# with a lovely face, great smile and good personality, and I would be far more interested in you than a 25 year old, 120lb girl, with the personality of an empty cardboard box. I have dated many older women, and a few heavy women, so if you're carrying a few pounds, or you think you're too old, don't count yourself out, count yourself in. And remember, it never hurts to wink, and if you wink hard enough, there's always a remote chance that you might re=shape your cornea, and no longer need glasses.

What are your favorite musicians or bands?:
Led Zeppelin, Dave Mathews, Better than Ezra

Tell one of your favorite sexual fantasies. Don't hold back!:
It's sad to say, but I don't think I have a fantasy
at the moment. I used to fantasize about older women when
I was in my early teens (Some neighbohood moms were exceptionally
hot) but not anymore.

What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Receiving Oral Sex, Toys (Vibrators/Dildos/etc.), Threesomes, Mutual Masturbation

Ever fantasized about having sex with a celebrity? Who? What turns you on about them?:
nope

Have you ever had cybersex?:
I've done it so many times that I've forgotten how to type with two hands.

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